all my roommates have gone home for Labor Day weekend; it feels weird being the only person in a 5 bedroom apartment.
by now, I've pretty much moved in. Most of my boxes are unpacked or sitting in my closet because I didnt intend on unpacking them anyway.
classes so far have been....okay. My Mondays and Wednesdays are awful- 6 hours of class straight, starting from 9- which is do-able...just tiring, and I worry that I wont be able to successfully drill through it for the remainder of the semester simply because I have strange sleep patterns AND I am not an early bird and yeah, I never get the worm. But I guess I like that I end class everyday around 3pm. Its different from every other year where I have either gaps inbetween classes, or I start much later.
The two semester sublets in the house are awesome. Especially Liz, the girl who lives next to me. Theres something so exciting about finding someone that has the same music taste...AND who shares a lot of hobbies as well. That and, we have amazingly long insightful conversations and shes really really nice. The other girl, I dont see as much since shes an Aviation major and is always at Willard, but from the bits that I have seen her? She seems cool too. I'm really happy with the lack of tension in the apt- as compared to last year, THANK GOD. It feels good to breathe.
Homework- I have lots of it. So I should probably wash up and go to the library.
PS; I recently got some Trojan virus on my computer- and had to solicit the help of my friend to get rid of it. People, beware of some virus called "ANTIVIRUS XP 2008" - it disguises itself into looking like an app from XP and even pops up from the shortcut toolbar on the bottom right of the screen. Malwarebytes' Anti-Malware (MBAM) program does successfully kill it though- if you can get your computer to work properly for the ten minutes you'd need.

do you ever feel like- maybe you've outgrown some of your friends?

so i almost set my room on fire a few days ago.
shhh. dont tell my landlord, lest i get kicked out.
i was sitting at my desk reading while flossing my teeth with the fan blowing in my face because its so ridiculously hot and humid here. (those who know me well enough know that i'm a smell nazi, and so i always have incense and/or my oil burner lit in my room.) earlier in the day i had balled up a piece of tissue paper- for i dont know what reason- and put it on my nightstand next to my cup of tea and my oil burner. so apparently the air from the fan had slowly pushed the tissue paper close enough to the oil burner for it to catch on fire- which i didnt notice till half the tissue had ignited.
freaking out, i picked up the tissue paper and blew on it, which only sent little bits of paper flying all over my desk (luckily it didnt ignite anything else), and the little fire raged on.
i intended on rushing the paper to the bathroom and tossing it into the toilet, but as you can imagine, the paper was burning VERY quickly, and halfway across my room, it got to hot and kinda burnt my fingers, so i dropped it onto my carpet.
at this point, the whole tissue was on fire, and i was kind of hyperventilating. i grabbed a shoe and smooshed out the fire, whispering shit shit shit to myself allthewhile. the fire eventually died, and now i'm left with this ugly burn mark on my carpet.
i hope my landlord never sees it. right now, my yoga mat is masking my evil deed.
but really, it was scary, and i was shaking for a while afterwards.

I remember a long time ago, when I had just gotten into Nirvana, I went to the library and read his published journals. I remember feeling conflicted about reading it, because a lot of Cobain's fans were pissed that Love punished them.
But I read his journals. I enjoyed reading his journals- and doubled my admiration for his creativity. He has this really interesting way of stringing unlikely words together to get his point across.
Eh- thats not really my point. I remember reading "Dont read my diary when I'm gone" on the inside cover of the first page of the first journal. I know that it may have been purposely quoted on the first page for introductory irony in publication, but still. Writing such a statement kind of implies that he expects an audience, right?
I've kept journals for years. I think since I was in 5th grade. Maybe earlier, I dont remember, but I only have recollection of writing and keeping them (the actual books) starting when I was ten. I started out writing mini "articles" - GOD I KNOW, I thought I was a wonderful reporter back then - about people I met at school, or things that irritated me (Pokemon and Birthdays) and maybe trying for profundity, wrote lengthy editorials about each. I dated and titled each of these, and I'm pretty sure I was writing for an audience. In the future? My parents? Who knows. Almost the entirety of that purple book was written for someone that would come by, read my opinions and then tell me (or at least think to themselves) how deliciously insightful I was. I think growing up, because I actually tried very hard to please my parents- because I think my dad always thought I never took school seriously enough- I actually may have purposely placed my journal open on my desk hoping they would read that.
When I started my first crush, I think that was when my journal turned "private" in the sense that I would write about my unicorn rainbow lollipop feelings, etc. But I think I still wanted someone to read it- in the future. Okay, I'm not going to recap my journal life anymore- I'm beginning to feel like a loser.
Anyways- since I've hit hard times through college, I've been conflicted about my journal postings. I want someone to share my feelings with- but at the same time, I dont want people to think differently of me, or know my secrets and hurt me (which sounds extremely emo-panda, I know. )