surprise me!!

i'm sick. (sad face)
i dont even know how that happens- since its still summer.
but i suppose it could be due to the freak weather here in the midwest. i've been pretty lethargic lately, even though i've been frequenting the gym. (and speaking of the gym, the last time i went with esther, we saw this guy outside that was wearing these skinny jeans that were so tight he was walking funny- like with his knees pointed inwards. haha it was really funny. they didnt even cover his butt. its a horrible fashion statement. )
i think its because the rest of this month is pretty lax for me.
i have a few tests the week of the 24th, but other than that its smooth sailing till october when every week is midterms week- yay!!
BUT then i have a weekend where i get to see michael which will be a welcome break from ugly school. then after that, more exams and projects until thanksgiving break.
this year, im going home!! FOR A WHOLE WEEK.
then two more weeks of fun time, then finals.
its weird, when i break it down like that, it makes the semester seem so quick. but its only mid-september. (sad face).
on a happier note, things are better inside the house.
and i'm slowly (but surely!!) working on the decorating of my room which i dont feel will be finished till halfway through the semester. i have a bunch of stuff to put up onto my walls, more lights to string up, more post its to tack up. i promise ill put up a picture of the completed room once i feel its perfect.
joan's 21st bday is coming up!! barb jenny and i have much crafting to do- while esther promises to distract her with studying at the library.
much fun!! after this disgusting snotty cold of mine goes away that is.
but until then, i shall finish reading my zombie books.
lately, ive been reading and watching so much about zombies that i think im becoming immune to the fear of them, which is bad because by the time i realise danger, it will be scratching front door.

when i have my first baby im going to force feed it lemons for my own amusement. <3

so umm...its fucking hot.
its like 93 inside the house, and we cant do much about it because one of our roommates is being an AC nazi and is super touchy about us using God's gracious gift in this stifling country.
as a result, we not only look gross, we are sad.and i realise im half laughing in this picture...BUT thats only because in this heat, my mind is inventing amusement in our sweaty predicament.
Here are some more pictures that i didnt put up before. outside rentertainment when michael was visiting-helping me move in.
when i went to buy textbooks, there were people in costumes. i asked them why they were dressed so, and they told me that they wanted to connect with the incoming freshmen.
"...and freshmen like pokemon and power rangers". -ME TOO!!
ill post more pictures later- this is more tedious than i thought.
in all seriousness though, there is drama in the house. and its worse than i thought it would be.
what a horrible way to start off the semester.
its easy to try.
we can talk if we like
but lets forget it for the meantime.
false conversations - a waste of time. so why do we say hello?
its just a fashion that we follow that we should be forgetting.

i am a very dependant person, i think.
i believe too easily what people say to me.
i hang on to words that dont make the difference, i trust to easily.
and how do i change?
i dont.
sitting here twisted and used, i cry.
i tantrum, i rage.
i sway in her songs that catalyst the tears.
this is how i love.
this is how i fall.
for you, your eyelashes, for you.